My daily is still same, going to have some therapies n try to walk, find the missing pieces.
I dunno what the future, the wall still blank even i try to imagine.... our memories still refresh but there's nothing i can do unless accept my fate.
I tried to made some video, this way can make me can speak out.... no body hear, no body knows or even care. I just tried to help my self, to breath again, to feel this life, to smile again, even one smile from deep inside my heart, not pretending to feel okay.
I still love him, probably always love him, i keep pretending so far, but i want to confess my self here, my heart will always belong to him til the rest of my life. i cant run even how pain i felt this love, cos for the 1st time i really deep in love with him.
He is my 1st love, My true love, part of my life and soul. No matter how he hurt me or kill me, i know i always love him. Maybe people will say how stupid I'm but This is my true confess.
Sometimes i cried why love keeps me stay in pain, i still cant accept this is my destined.
I thought love that we have is strong enough to face how hard trials, I thought he really love me n keep his promised never leave me and hurt me. But once again, this is life,... anything could be happen....
My fault is, i never think this is will happen.... and thats made me broke down and cry. Feels like u fall in deep hole and you just keep trying to get out.
I wanna feel the sun again, feel the beautiful morning and day even without him. I keep it try and try.... i really try.... Hope i still have chance to feel my life again.....
this time i just got home from therapies, as usual i always feel so sleepy... i know they made me sleepy coz i wasn't sleep whole day. Even now, he always on my mind... i knew he have bad colds now, my heart wanna say something like before, "Pls baby have a rest, why u got bad cold? u never listen to me, pls sleep properly, and eat. take vitamin everyday. i'm so worry about u.... pls rest baby, i will stay beside u, caress ur hair, hug u so tight, kiss u, whispering u how much i love u. i hold ur hand, pls close ur eyes n sleep, i always beside u. I love u so much babe, God bless us." that what i always said to him. But my throat and tongue feel stiff, I'm speechless and only can say "get well soon". I know I'm totally sick but my heart always same.
I need to sleep now, my mind become frozen n push me lay down.
Talk to you later..... good evening 28
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