There's nothing matters, I tried to open my eyes this time and its clear enough for me.
He never say goodbye but this is more than goodbye... (unspoken)
I'm not blind, but I pretending to be blinded so far.
I just don't wanna realize u could do this, but actually I know u can....
I don't wanna believe u change, but I know u changed....
I keep my trust in u that u never hurt me, but I know u did...... even so many times.
I just keep my self blinded....... I don't wanna let my self see the truth...
But this time and today, I let my eyes and my heart open to see the truth and this is more than clear enough.....
Now u made me believe u can hurt me, kill me, push me under and let me more suffering....
There are two sides about my self, between my heart n my logical.
I'm strong enough in logical side, but u hold my weakness heart.
And now, u already killed that part, I never expect the end like this but u did it today.
even worse it doesn't matter anymore, I know everybody will do same like u.
Its normal.... and I let you left me with this way, cos there's nothing I can do to make u stop hurting me and here is the end of US.
I don't wanna hate, I just hide until time will cure the pain inside.
I wont cry no more, I wont let them out, I wont..... no matter how I just wanna keep inside, so no one can see my tears anymore.
"Why this time anyone else was RIGHT about you".
or maybe so far I was wrong to gave my love to u, trust u and believe anything what u said or maybe I just blind deep in love with you.
I learn to smile again, even not coming from my heart but I keep it try.....
I learn much things about love, they said "1st love never die" but the silly thing happened is "1st love made me died"... funny isn't?
It's not "Love" mistakes but its about people use in the name of Love to hurting anyone else, not because Love hurting you but they don't know how to show the Real Love and maintain it. That's the main point happen about "Love"
I learn much from this painful, sometime when u feel very deep in pain, there's no one care or hear u and how empty ur life and lost ur way, hard to breath, cant smile, hard to sleep, frustration, desperate, and much more. If you want to end everything is only wait someone u love to hurting u once again.... when that happen, just open your eyes dont make ur heart be blind. Make ur self realize that He or She, is the one, yes someone u love is kill you. The only one can kill you.....
The most pain and hurt is when u know everything is wrong or changing but u still wanna try harder to fight and bring everything back together.... But He/She doesn't do anything,.. only leave u and let u suffer alone without explanation or say goodbye.
So what u do? Are you still hoping or try something even u know its not gonna make it. You cant fight alone. If he/she just wanna end the love, anything u do is nothing.
Just open your eyes and stop defending or pretending that He/she never hurt u.
Just open your eyes and realize its Enough.... Your love, your heart and your Life are very priceless, and its enough. God knows all the sacrifices you've done. Who's gonna help u? no one.. only your self can do. Your tears are empty..... there's nothing u can do anymore, even suicide only make ur self more weak...
The only thing u need to do just realize "its over". Its time to left something to your self, even just a piece. To move on and give all the pain to God, He will take your pain away if you already let it go.....
Keep in faith cos only God can hear what deep inside your heart. Its not how to forget but how to let it go.
You'll never realize, today you feel so much in pain but when u accept all the pain and let it go.. U'll never realize that u already changed become new person. Its like to be born again...... God is always listen when our heart crying, he never let us being suffer if we believe him...... There's nothing impossible and there's always a way if we try. Always listen to your heart before u do something, cos heart is part of God to speak with us... "Thank u for person who always stay beside me when I fall, I never expect you before, but this time u really help me, even I always saying bad and ignored u or sometimes I wreak my anger to u, but u still here. I just don't wanna say this in front of u cos still hard to trust again this time.
But Thank u.
Good night and God bless you all
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